A few words of advice for those who imbibe

Devil’s lettuce, giggle bush or my personal favorite married iguanas whatever you like to call it. There are certain promises that you need to make to yourself and of course keep, that if followed will help you avoid serious blow-back afterwards

First things first, let’s talk about snack cakes. If you’re the type of person who thinks “I’ll just have one” and then finds yourself at the bottom of a snack cake box with no memory of how you got there, it’s time for a reckoning. The universe has delivered you to this exact moment for a reason. You’re high, the snack cakes are there, and it’s a dangerous combination. The promise to yourself is simple: Get the fucking snack cakes out of your house before you partake” There is no other way around it.

Then, there’s the visit to Grandma’s house. Now, we all know that a fresh batch of cookies or some other comforting baked good from Grandma is the best kind of treat, but you also know Grandma doesn’t need to smell the evidence of your little extracurricular activities. It’s 2024, Grandma has WiFi, and she probably knows more about your “wellness supplements” than you think. So, here’s the deal: take a gummy on the way over. Discreet. Controlled. It’s like the ninja of marijuana delivery—no smell, no smoke, just calm vibes. Keep it low-key, avoid the raised eyebrows, and you’ll leave Grandma none the wiser.

lastly, let’s talk about the most important promise of them all: High You is not, under any circumstances allowed to post anything on social media. Sober you has to approve it first. It’s like having a designated driver for your digital life. High you might think that your half-baked thoughts about the mysteries of the universe or your “brilliant” meme compilation is worth sharing. It very likely is not. Trust me. If you’ve ever woken up after a “session” to find an Instagram story that’s 25 minutes long and involves a passionate monologue about bulb placement on a Christmas tree, you know exactly what I mean. So make the promise. Only sober you can decide if it is okay for public consumption. So smoke, gummy or vape, it’s okay to imbibe now and again but to avoid serious repercussions follow the rules And remember be safe out there guys.