Flipping Off a Cop Car
Ever have one of those mornings where the universe seems to conspire against you? That was me a few months ago. I woke up cranky and, within minutes, things went downhill faster than my Honda’s transmission—which, coincidentally, was part of the problem.
The first blow came via an email from the car repair shop. My still-relatively-new Honda needed a whole new transmission. Metal shavings in some pan thingy. I’m not a mechanic, but I’m pretty sure “metal shavings” are bad not to mention very expensive..
Then came a text from my son: my granddaughter wouldn’t be coming to our family gathering because it was her mom’s weekend. Her mom, true to form, wasn’t about to let us borrow her for even a few hours on a Sunday afternoon. I get it. Custody schedules and all. But come on.
Meanwhile, I’d just woken up from a dream about my sunroom being blown off my house by a storm. Symbolic? Sure. Relevant to my foul mood? Absolutely.
By the time I stumbled into the kitchen for my indispensable morning coffee, I was pretty riled up. After stewing (and caffeinating) for a bit, I decided a brisk walk in the park would be the healthy, wholesome way to burn off this foul mood.
The Incident
I put on my walking garb—leggings, sweatshirt, ballcap—and grabbed my essentials: key fob, phone, and earbuds. On the drive to the park, I mentally drafted an angry letter to Honda: Phrases like “unacceptable quality control” and “complete lack of professionalism” were peppered with some less polite language.
At the park, I slammed my car door a little harder than necessary, and hit the tree-lined trail. Normally, this park is mood changing for me. The shade, the quiet—it’s perfect. But this morning, I was running a little late, too much stewing I suppose. I arrived a little after 10 a.m. the park had just opened to cars, but there weren’t that many there yet. This was going to be a nice walk, just the ticket to allay some pent up frustrations. Then, about 100 yards into my power walk, I saw it: a police car.
Let me preface this by saying I don’t have anything against the police. But something about authority figures always puts me on edge. I’m sure it’s some kind of a subconscious rebellion thing but that car became my target.
As it got closer, my simmering annoyance boiled over. Without thinking, without planning, I lifted my hand and flipped him off.
Yep. I flipped off a cop car.
The Cop’s Reaction
For a split second, panic set in. I braced for flashing lights, a siren, maybe even a “Ma’am, please step over here.” But nothing happened.
Instead, the officer waved. He actually smiled—smiled!—like I’d just handed him a cupcake instead of a middle finger. He kept driving, probably shaking his head at the absurdity of the situation.
In that moment, I realized two things. First, I was incredibly lucky. Second, my anger had gotten the best of me.
The Strategy That Changed Everything
As I kept walking, thanking my lucky stars that I was not currently in jail, I started analyzing that cop’s reaction. He had every right to be annoyed. Heck, he could have cuffed me and taken me in for being a public nuisance or something. But he didn’t. He just waved and moved on with his day, refusing to let my bad mood become his problem.
And that’s when it hit me: what if we all did that?
We all run into those people—the ones who gesture rudely at us in traffic, cut the line at the coffee shop, or give us the death glare in the parking lot because they think we parked too close. It’s easy to get mad, to snap back, or to stew about it all day. But what if, instead, we treated it as if we were witnessing a version, albeit a bad one, of ourselves having a terrible day? A mostly reasonable person temporarily hijacked by circumstances beyond their control?
How It Works
When someone acts out—cuts you off, snaps at you, or flips you off—try this:
Imagine your own backstory. Maybe they got terrible news. Maybe they didn’t sleep well. Maybe their Honda is full of metal shavings, and their granddaughter can’t come over for family dinner.
Respond with kindness. Instead of honking, glaring, or snapping back, offer a smile or a calm response.
Move on. Don’t let their bad mood become yours. Shake your head, laugh about it, and keep going.
Why It Works
This strategy doesn’t just defuse tension—it saves your own sanity. By refusing to escalate, you reclaim control over your day. Plus, there’s something deeply satisfying about being the calm one in a situation that could have spiraled.
My New Superpower
Since that day, I’ve used this strategy every chance I get. The guy who cut me off in traffic last week? Wave and smile. The woman who huffed at me in line at the grocery store? Smile (but not in a smug way). The guy cutting the line at the coffee shop, well he probably has his reasons. Maybe he resents that he has to get coffee for the whole office for the third time this week because he is a low guy on the totem pole or something.
And every time I do it, I think of that cop who was able to wave and smile at an unwarranted hand gesture. His reaction stuck with me as a beacon of what could be. If he could let go of being flipped off, surely I can let go of the minor annoyances that cross my path.
So the next time someone acts out, give it a try. Pretend they’re you, just having a rough day, like I did with my middle finger moment. Smile, wave, and let it go. Who knows? You might even laugh about it later—like I do now whenever I think about flipping off a cop car and living to tell the tale
© 2024 Aadornament
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