Grandmothers

Grandmothers

I am a grandmother, and being one is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. My granddaughter is the most precious, wonderful child. She is full of life and is a girl through and through. She loves clothes and takes gymnastics lessons. She’s always loved gymnastics, especially because she admires cheerleaders.

When she was very young—about four years old—she had the opportunity to step onto a Big Ten football field to practice with the college cheerleaders and even performed a dance with them. About a year later, we were sitting around talking, and I offhandedly asked her if she wanted to be a cheerleader when she was old enough. Her response was so delightful. In a somewhat exasperated tone, she said, “But Grandma, I already am a cheerleader!” And she was right—she already was!

We once went to the zoo and took a water ride through an exhibit featuring life-sized dinosaurs. At the end of the ride, I asked her which dinosaur was her favorite. I expected a response like “the brontosaurus” because it was so big or “the tyrannosaurus rex” because it was scary and roared loudly. But her response—well, it still makes me smile to this day. She said, very seriously and slightly nervously, that she only liked the baby dinosaurs because they couldn’t eat her.

That’s what it’s like being a grandmother. I see you out there, too. We’ll pull out our phones without hesitation, eager to show anyone who will look the latest classroom photo, standing beside a birthday bike, or some other recent photo op. We have this joy in our lives, and we want to share it with you so that you can see, too, how wonderful being a grandmother is. We adore our grandchildren. And I know without a doubt that you have the most wonderful, the cutest, and the absolutely smartest grandchildren anywhere. I get you.

As a child, I had the best grandmother. I have many loving memories of her. Even to this day, I like the smell of cigarette smoke, because when I smelled that scent, it meant Grandma was at our house, sitting at the kitchen table smoking a Pall Mall. She was the only person I knew who smoked. She had this little yellow car, and she drove it around town like a bat out of hell. I remember she would bring candies when she visited—these orange-colored “circus peanuts,” a marshmallowy treat that I loved. She made the best carrot cake I’ve ever eaten.

When she got older, she developed a rash on the heels of both her hands. She went to the doctor, even got a second opinion, but they couldn’t figure out what it was. The doctor prescribed ointments, and she applied them religiously. When I visited her, she always mentioned that she had just cleaned and put fresh ointment on her hands. I think she did this because she feared people might think she wasn’t a clean person. The truth was, she was as clean as could be, but I could see the undeserved shame she carried, and it broke my heart a little each time she said it.

I know everyone has those memories—heartwarming snippets that come to mind unexpectedly during daily activities, often making you pause and smile. Sometimes, they make you feel angry about past injustices. Sometimes, the memory of a grandmother is sad or wistful because she wasn’t able to be the grandmother you wanted or thought you deserved, or because time and distance kept you from getting to know her well.

And here’s where it gets scary. One day, your grandchild will grow up and become an adult with these same snippets of memories about you. And when you think about it like that, well, that’s a lot of pressure. You want to be remembered fondly by your grandchildren. You want them to smile when they think of you—not because you’re self-centered and need to be revered, but because you want the best for them.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our grandchildren isn’t just our time, but the memories that will shape their hearts and guide them through life. We want them to carry with them the warmth, love, and lessons they learned from us, so they can live their lives with joy, confidence, and a sense of belonging. After all, being a grandmother is one of the most precious gifts of a lifetime. It’s a chance to create moments that will shape the future, giving our grandchildren not just happy memories, but the foundation for a good life. And that’s why we want to be remembered fondly—not for our own sake, but so that our grandchildren will have a life filled with great memories and endless love.

© 2024 Aadornament