I’m not really a religious person by nature, but I think that Jesus was a cool guy. He was very earnest and he tried really hard to get things done. But the job he was given? Well that was a cluster fuck from the beginning. The story is that he incarnated to Earth and was the son of some big-time God. This God guy was getting fed up with how the humans—whom he created, by the way—were behaving on Earth. Some say he created these human beings for the sole purpose of singing his praises. Bad reason to begin with, but here we are. They were fighting and killing each other, stealing from each other, and the bigger ones were making the smaller ones be their slaves. All kinds of idiotic shit was going on. So God says, “Enough is enough. Jesus, you need to go down there and tell them they need to be a lot nicer to each other or they are all going to end up dead, and we will have to start all over.”
Jesus is like, “Okay, okay, Dad, I’ll do what I can, but these humans…”
So Jesus, somewhat reluctantly, I believe, comes to Earth. He does all that manger, virgin thing. Bit of a production if you asked me. But nevertheless, He grows up and begins his mission of telling people they need to be nicer to each other. He gathers up a bunch of humans around a rock or something and He says,
“Hey, you guys God sent me here to tell you that you need to be a lot nicer to each other. If you can do this one thing, your world would improve so drastically. If you could all cooperate and just be a little bit nicer to each other, you could create great societies where everyone could prosper and live happily. This would give everyone more time to sing God’s praises. Everything would be so much better if you could do this one simple thing that I am telling you. I mean, compared to how you are living now, it would be like you had died and gone to heaven.”
After the humans had received this profound knowledge of how to vastly improve things on earth, they briefly considered it. I think that some of them even probably conferred with each other about it. A few of them predictably started a cult. The rest then promptly responded by beating the crap out of him, and nailing him to a cross until he was dead. Like his Dad, Jesus also made serious errors in judgment when it came to humans.
© 2024 Aadornament
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